Cycles with God?

Sitting here in the first quiet time of my day it's interesting to me that I think to myself, "hey I have a quiet moment, I should spend it with God." Then I realize, "when did it come to this?" Where it is almost an obligation that I should get to rather than something that I am counting down the moments until I get to do it? Even deeper, when was the last time I was actually yearning for Him? In the Marriage Ministry one of the main lessons that they teach is that every relationship is cyclical, times of Romance, Disillusionment, and Joy (see Mom and Dad, I was listening). I have always been able to jump right in and see how this absolutely applies to a marriage - or any romantic relationship for that matter - but lately I have been opening my eyes to the fact that it is true to an extent in every relationship. It just looks different. Like in a close friendship for example, there are the times where you are so close to the person and feel like you could trust them with anything, love hanging with them, have a blast, have long deep conversations about the mysteries of the universe, etc. Then all of a sudden, they say something that may hurt your feelings. Or they do something that you really don't agree with. Next thing you know you don't really want to even talk to them for a while, let alone hang out. Finally, you 'reconnect' and fall back into finding your "BFF" again! LOL
So how does it work with God? The times of 'romance,' where there is no denying His presence in everything you do, everything you see, hear and experience. You wake up in the morning blessing and praising Him because "This is the day the Lord has made!" Then what's it take? You lose your job...or let's go even smaller than that - you have to buy new tires for your car in a month where there isn't much income...(we are experiencing this right now) and just like that, DESPAIR!!! "How are we ever going to make ends meet?" "Why do we keep ending up in such hard financial times?" It's so easy to dive deep into the circumstance you are in and lose sight of everything He has done thus far!! This is where I am at right now and I am trying to find my way out!! I know in my heart that He is SO GOOD and SO FAITHFUL and He's got this... so why can't I turn my head off?? :) It's definitely safe to say that I am in a time of disillusionment - but why do I feel like I am here a lot more than I am in the other phases? The Romance and Joy phases never seems to last long enough!! But alas - I know they will return, and I just need to stay on my knees and await them.

OK, time to go feed my beautiful little miracle!! Ah a glimpse of the JOY!!!!